imemyself

be happy

2005-10-19T13:51:00.000+08:00

im thankful for the results i received today and ytd. it's not that bad really. at least im not failing. but im still pissed about art. urgh

english was the best piece of news man. for once i wasnt pathetically lousy compared to like..ppl around me. haha.

and this is so ominous! megan just came online and her nick is "our lord sent a tsunami to singapore when the casino is built". oh im scared. mayb it's superstitutious but it just might happen.

so anw. i shant complain about results anymore. but now i must decide what course to go. with my lousy average i doubt i'll get to like the top few classes anymore. all my subjects are below seventy cept for maths science and eng..erm. home ec isnt counted. ok. i think my geog can be pulled up to a seventy by my other terms. my chinese is a gone case. ART SUCKS. i hate art now. thanks to mdm lim urgh.

so my average currently is like. i dunno. i dun wanna count. haha.

im still deciding if i should go out with congrui on friday. but SHUSZE is there. haha. NOT FUN.
mayb it's because everytime i go out with congrui it's almost always wo men liang ge. and i can bully her haha. nope. it's she who bullies me. aiya. dunno la. i know congrui will be different with shusze arnd hahaha. she will be nicer so mayb i should just go and experience the nice side of congrui heh!

2005-10-18T22:16:00.000+08:00

phew..finally done

i think it's kind of horrible actually. like the stamps are extremely out of place but you can always IMAGINE that this is a post card. or sth. WHATEVER.

i feel much better now

when the going gets tough..the tough looks for photoshop and messes around.

haha. and produces sth useful
it's not THAT BAD RIGHT
i know kat is much more skilled

but ahem. im sure shusze!! this is better than your "artistic" sun shine girl hahaha

and i thought of how to fill the space up all by meself cuz you unkindly went offline before i could say anything :[
but i dun think i would have used YOUR idea anw shusze! *scoffs at shusze*
i absolutely love scoffing at shusze haha. cuz she does it to me all the time too right

it's a sign of secret affection (shhh)
but dun worry. we're not lesbians. i promise! we really arents

hahaha
ok. bye

2005-10-18T16:27:00.000+08:00

my results suck. they're terrible and im thinking about how to break the news gently to my dad or SOMETHING

my maths is seriously disappointing. i minus like. ten marks worth of carelessness. friggin similar triangles. that was FOUR marks. not like i didnt know how to do. i just read the question wrongly which means like DX/BX..i got like DX/CX..how careless is that. and the NZ and SING dollar graph. i read the graph units wrongly ok. three marks POOF, gone and away.
that makes seven marks. and i can copy from the calculator wrongly also. this is dumb dumb dumb. in the end i got an a2 and im SERIOUSLY very very very very kind of. i dunno. pissed about my carelessness and disappointed with my marks cuz i know i couldve gotten those stupid marks. urgh. i think my other terms will pull this one up though. i hope. i need an a1. at least an 80 please

my geog was another one. i didnt elaborate everything. there were CARROTS and "whys" and "so what" all over my paper..urgh. but im still taking geog even though i did much better in history cuz i hate history

im not looking forward to science. im really very scared. i need an a1 again. but i really dunno. my maths didnt make it. but mayb that's cuz of carelessness. i should've gotten the graph mark and that GIVEAWAY QUESTION(as mr ganesan says it) so i would get like over eighty. this is dumb. and then i wouldve reached my target.

anw. yup. i think ive gotta do some maths during the hols. im going to stay with my brother for a month anw. haha. he can do with me or something. yeah right.

my chinese was. erm. better than expected. hahaha. but still. people(like christie) is shocked why i aint sad over 45/90 for chinese but so sad over maths. urgh. they just dun understand that i dun really give a damn about hcl. im used to it LOL. look around me it's like WHOA. jocelyn compo 41/50, letter writing 19/20, main paper 65/90.

that is seriously pro ok. and overall she had like 80?! hahaha. plus her list and oral. i got like wad. 60. urgh!..

and art pissed me off. dun talk about it. but it's pretty unjustified. i believe i colour batter than a 19/35. helllooo..somebody with just the words underwater world singapore and a three and a half inch long fish got like 22. and here i am with 19. and the way the words were coloured were just completely flat tone la. one colour! urgh. you know. at first i got a 28..then mdm lim changed it to a 19. im damn pissed larh. and she still said. i changed the mark because i know you can colour better than this. and crap about not putting in my best effort and how i had a better attitude towards art last year.
URGH. i dun need this! i need my AVERAGE SCORE and this is seriously pulling down everything. if i got that extra ten marks i wouldve gotten an a2. sometimes i seriously cant stan mdm lim and her standard la.

i got 60s for everything except maths and urgh.

it's seriously very what luh. urgh. dun mind MY SINGLISH. im in sucha bad mood. i went home and started binging. i ate like all the ham in the fridge(whoops)..yakult, one whole bag of chips that isnt even supposed to be eaten yet. like it's not exactly mine. whoops again

im just damn pissed. i wished i didnt put in so much effort for art last year. mdm lim marks according to "standard" or so she says. standard standard. everything is reminding me im not perfoming up to "STANDARD"

im stil pissed over art. even caleb wong got like 74 or sth. and rachel says his colouring is horrible.

i wish the word standard never existed.

i really hope and hope and hope my science is alright.

my results this year have been horrible.

2005-10-17T22:37:00.000+08:00

it's REDdening! and becoming REDDER and REDDER by the second. is there such a word as redder?!

my FACE is like a tomato. and the tanning oil does work..shusze rmb that patch on my foot..it turned BROWN for goodness sake. OMG!

oh. sentosa was fun today
despite the checklist we came up with for fun during ytd night's conference call, i stll forgot to bring loadsa things. like my SCHOOL TIE for example. so dumb..we all had to attend some boring ass talk in the hall. i was counting the number of 'erms' the maths and science hods said. haha. the ultimate champion is mrs quek(maths hod) or whatever her name is. she said like 145 erms in 10 min and even my dad and grace's mom was BORED and miss lim had to like go up and "stop" her. lol. she's like.."....erm..erm..erm..erm..erm..erm.ermermerm.."ETC
i was observing, miss lim..first she got up to take her water bottle of something. then one step closer, another step closer, and it goes on, until miss/mrs quek finally stopped. OMG.
science HOD only said about 70 erms. quite alot too haha. i thought he was bad enough until the maths hod came along LOL. her rate of saying erms is like 14.5 erms per minute lol. MR GANESAN WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER sighh.

anw. sentosa was fun. cycling LOL. that was DUMB but fun. number one, i haven been on a bike for like ten years or something liddat. i dun rmb ever riding a bike by myself. it's just not my thing.
and guess what. rophi laura and shusze wanted to go cycling and they pulled poor me along, and the bike was huge and i HAD TO get on it and pretend everything was PERFECT!
i fell into a bush once, nearly crashed into laura, and feel while turning a curb. how disastrous is that..*rolls eyes*. but i got the hang of it preety fast RIGHT LAURA! laura says im PRO cuz ive never ridden a bike before but still managed QUITE well. haha. but it was quite fun. after all, im a pro. LOL.

yes and we dug holes(as usual) played football(no comments..), volleyball(no comments again LOL it was funny), and went into the sea, and laura's BRA HAD A BAO ON IT. ha. char shao bao. haha. that was funny right. jocelyn thought it was an alien. i think laura is gunna kill me.dun wear white. urgh. my tank top is now a sandy yellow colour and when it's wet it's KIND OF OBSCENCE right laura haha.
oh yeah. grace looks sexy in her blank tank. ok. my black tank..but she borrowed it. i thnk i should just give it to her. she is always wearing esprit shirts and all kinds of WHITE t shirts and only WHITE!

so sentosa was kind of fun. and we saw this two dogs that were so cute haha.

We were nearly late for the talk cuz it's like there was no cab. So we cheated.
We didn’t queue up at that taxi stand at harbuor front. Instead we went to like the bus stop. And there was this really funny taxi driver haha. It was damn crap luh. We were all like so hyper in the taxi haha. The driver was like "im so kind to fetch al of you so I charge all of your extra five cents each ok"Den we were like huh huh huh and he said we will fail out exams cuz we cant even calculate four times five cents. Aiya. It was just super lame and everything. At first we were quite scared cuz we didn’t know he was joking. Then after that we knew he was joking and it was fun. We were crapping all the way. like about 4d/toto/ma3 piao4 and then he kept trying to scare us by telling us he didnt know where our school was and he wanted to go to normanton park haha. so dumb. but it was nice atmosphere aha. at elast he interacted with us.

oh there were this two indian men in sentosa..who were seating on some miniature cable car ride. they waved at us and we waved back. then after that they saw us and wanted to take pictures LOL. so cute lar..

anw. im gunna sleep now. bye

2005-10-16T18:19:00.000+08:00

it's boring at home without my grandparents i must say

it's quiet.

and lone

and gloomy

and no one to yell at me to wake up at 12 pm when im still sleeping LOL

oh well. i practised my piano?

and watched garfield
and tried watching phantom of the opera but didnt

and i err. talked to grace
and went online

yes
my life is so interesting

im excited about tmr..but it's irritating. always have ppl dun feel like going, and putting a damper on everything
:[

bahh. somebody talk to me. it's reeaaalllyy boring.

and i want the soundtrack from corspe bride.

2005-10-15T22:07:00.000+08:00

VAGUE. DONT READ. JUST IMAGINE A FRIGGIN SIGN SAYING KEEP OUT OR GO TO HELL.

ok. i cant actually rmb what i wanted to ACTUALLY SAY! but that's a reely good thing cuz that means you are so not important anymore. anw. courtesy courtesy, the thanks always comes first and den i'll slam you. or mayb i wun. after all. im COURTEOUS

oh. THANKS ALOT you know..for letting me know that you could ACTUALLY have done that but chose this. THANK YOU SO MUCH! just a passing facade eh. soon it'll be over? huh, like the freshness of the morning air?
and im thanking you too for pretending to be but never actually being. haha. i have no idea how to phrase it. phrasing one whole chunk of THANKS is not easy..esp for someone who isnt exactly your top notch literature student. yup..and no slamming then.

it's not nice when people assume things, even more so when what they assume is RIDICULOUSLY OUT OF POINT. if you want to know, you could just ask, but whether i will tell you is another different matter altogether. so if i dun tell you, you can bloody keep your damn nose out of it. i know people. nice as they are., they somehow like knowing secrets about other people huh. and even like to like "show off" the fact that they know sth.
to them it might be something like a priviledge and their oh so very UNobvious nudgings and whisperings probably make em feel like they belong together, in one group.

argh, im just fusing two different matters into one..and making things look very complicated. it isnt really. it's just me and my over reaction. *whatever*
yeah you know. the world is BEAUTIFUL. SUCCULENT. TURBULENT. OPULENT. whatever.

yes, indeed, it's just a passing facade.

and one thing i "realise", i should stay away from the computer when im feeling like this

and what the heck. no one told me it was ten already. bye

2005-10-15T18:57:00.000+08:00

ok. so here's the plan
to raise funds for another shopping spree

DONT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!! grace is in it too! she gave me the idea..

so i dun think the plan for car washing is gunna work out cuz lynna says our prices are exorbitantly high. so we're thinking about finding jobs. ok. I AM thinking about finding jobs and i think i just found one. brb! but lynna has to ask her mom first.

mayb i can get that job and wash cars as well. grace and i can wash cars haha. but the job. i dunno. it sounds good actually. four dollars per hour for pasting price tags and sorting clothes.
please let me get it haha.

and yeah..since ive got five bucks left and then *scratches heads and mumbles while doing calculations* i gotta save up like twenty dollars cuz i made this ermm promise in front of many poeple..and and and if i get that job then IM RICH.
ok. not rich. but then, at least i'll be spending my own money so it'll be ok. of course i'll save some of it too! aHEM..if jocelyn read that saving up part i bet she scoff at if LOL.

i dun wanna work in friggin macs. horrible. dun say im fussy

and daniel..it's true about the indian man and the bananas ok. LOOK ME IN THE EYE. would i lie??haha

and it's the start of the new month for me..so that means i can sms lke mad again. but i dun think i will. not fun right. hahaha.

alright. cant wait for monday. sentosa and that stupid dan BROWN(pun intended.DANIEL CANT WRITE AS WELL>SUAN HIM!) can no longer call me white. URGH.

i reeeelly want that job!! i hope lynna's mom is nice enough about this!

2005-10-14T20:46:00.000+08:00

ok..so here's how it goes. sohpping consecutively for three days, and blew close to a hundred dollars on clothes.

can someone PLEASE stop me. but no. you mustn stop me! there are too many things..

ytd it was the white skirt, today it's this BROWN skirt...TMR IT"LL BE THAT other skirt. omg

shopping kills. really..my after exam shopping spree. i really want an unlimited shopping spree.

i bought the skirt form 37d. it's really nice! i cant stand it. or sit it. what ever. BUT there was twenty percent off? so i SAVED money right. ahhhhhh~
saw this black skirt for six dollars. i was deciding whether to buy it. BUT I WALKED AWAY FROM TEMPTATION. but it was only six dollars. i might go back there and get it one day. IT'S A GOOD DEAL!! it's six bucks. and it's NICE. it's almost the same as the one rachel has..except she bought it for ten dollars at cine..joy wanted to buy it but it was too short i think haha. i like it! it's really calling out to me. AHHH..

erm..jocelyn and i bought tanks from Fwomen hahaha. so dumb. at first we wanted winnie the pooh ones from giodano..but we decided it wasnt worth it. so in the end we bought from FW for 14.50.. it's a good deal too ok. the original price was 19 dollars!!
and the topshop tops too. laura and i shared. so we only paid 15..cuz when you buy two there is like 20% off. i was THINKING about that orange and white top..BUT i exercised SELF CONTROL and walked away AGAIN. ok. see. so im NOT that bad!!

i love the 37d skirt. i was thinking about the longer version of it. cuz shusze AND RACHEL says i have no skirts appropriate for functions..(i think the white one is appropriate ok)..but it didnt look that nice. actually I look nice in all right shusze HAHAHA..but..the longer one kind of reminds me of a school skirt. so i decided not to. and my dad thinks the shorter one is nicer too. OK. and rachel made me try on this LONG FLOWY FLOWERY skirt and i looked like a school teacher LOL. future career? haha. right now im just contented shopping. i think yesterdays' shopping trip was more fun. haha. we moved faster and thus i decide that shusze and rachel are the best shoppinng partners haha. after joc lilin laura and rophi left we were SO efficient haha.

ok. i love everything i bought BUT it's the money issue. right now i've got about five dollars left. so ive promised myself to save at least five dollars next week, ten dollars the week after and five dollars the next next next week. twenty dollars, and i WILL NOT blow it all on shoping. i think i'll put it in the bank. yes. in the bank it shall go. ok.
mayb that will make up for my crazy shopping the past few days.

oh and my project REB is moving along hahaha. SHUSZE JUST ADMIT IT. im sucha "TREND SETTER"*grace ang's phrase lol)
first it was my ear ring dao4 li3 right..BUT TOO BAD YOU CANT WORK IT OUT HAHAHA

now it's my REB project haha. everyone's into it! hahaha. lilin wants me to endorse her lol. and then im thinking about like you know. 100 dollars for ten sessions. can recoup all my "losses" from shopping haha. i could draw up a PLAN to REB hahaha.

cmon shusze. JUST ADMIT IT! haha. and what? did i just hear you say my dress sense is better than yours? haha. im being so bhb here.

2005-10-13T21:25:00.000+08:00

shopping. it's heavenly, i think im developing into a shopaholic. like really . i understand how rachel feels now..when she says "it's calling out to me"
i felt exactly like that today. like "ohhh my !!! that skirt..it's calling out to me!"

ok. i was supposed to blog like yup. long time ago. nine 25. but now it's close to eleven. why? cuz i was designing congrui;s VB shirt lol. she wanted. "messy"..and i cant send it to her cuz HER MSN LAGS. so she ORDERED me to post it. it's gunna take up a hell lot of space. shusze says it's nice.

nice? haha.

anw, as i was saying an hour and a half ago..shopping haha.
we went roaming in town again today. and saw so many nice things! but when we stepped into those "HIGH CLASS" boutiques, no one care about us haha. like mango, esprit, top shop, etc
but the stuff there are pretty nice.
i bought this really nice white skirt and rachel taught me this tactic. and after that we were ALL going "rachel shouldnt have taught me that" *winks*
and then we went into six and i bought a white bead necklace. i think i spent the most today. shusze and rachel bought a 2.50 bag. lol. i dunno larh. sth liddat. they went mad over it.

anw. i really love shopping now. and we're going shopping again tmr. haha. sighh. wadever. no more energy to blog

and there's PROJECT REB(remove eye bags) not working so far. haha.
k .bye! haha

2005-10-12T21:08:00.000+08:00

shopping kills.
:]

still it was fun today haha. we all bought stuff. shusze and i bought a nice brown top from FOREVER 21 haha.
it was thirteen dollars and the woman was fierce haha, :

i was broke after that and also because we went on a food binge. lol. yoshinoya, then brownies from the brownie factory in taka, den to sushi from cold storage. plus the movie haha. corspe bride! i love the piano duet. it's nice.

all we did was walk and walk and window shop and walk somemore and window shop somemore, but i feel like ive burned a thousand calories. ok. not that much.

and im gunna sleep at ten. my eye bags are TERRIBLE. im so depressed haha.

art was alright..haha. screwed up a small part of my background but i think it's still alright considering the fact that i only started like ytd afternoon. haha.

my eye bags are terrible.
have i mentioned?

and daniel SIM or coffee(wadever you wanna be called haha) i dun understand, what pizza man??

my ipod's spoilt-ish again. nvm/ i dun care haha. exams are over, enjoy before the results come back haha. im seriously quite scared. what if it's really terrible. argh.

thanks for letting me know you are so nice to them and yup. ive really put it past. it wun matter anymore.

2005-10-11T22:11:00.000+08:00

who rejoices when shusze updates (no one)
who rejoices when AIWEE updates(everyone)
hhahaa. ok. enough of this.

i hate myself! 1.8 times 100= 1800.

seriously. the person who marks my home ec paper will think my maths SUCKS. lol. this is dumb. haha. and building m is taller than building n

today is supposed to be happy, but it's depressing cuz my art is getting nowhere.
i had this brilliant idea about my sharks and forks. lol. but somehow it isnt working out very well and i cant think of any more layouts. and mentally i feel tired like mad. ok. my brain is bursting. and ive had late nights even when i can sleep (ie now)

and i think im gunna get a sore throat.
urgh. the moment my grandma isnt arnd i fall sick and stuff AH!

oral soon..i mustn have a sore throat. mayb i'll go drink water right now. those who know me really well will know that i hate drinking water. so, be SHOCKED haha.

anw. no mood to blog. but i know all of you are stil rejoicing and there's a beetle flying around the light so im really freaked out. ok. bye. im not childish and i like serious stuff and my art work does not look comical! AH!

2005-10-10T18:52:00.000+08:00

our starbucks trip

all of us went mad. lol. my leg looks like a pen exploded on it. tmr got test ok. im gunna have a hard time rubbing it off haha. ok. so mayb it isnt that serious but YOU KNOW..LAURA"S HANDWRITING! SO HORRIBLE!!! hahahaha. plus it was so ticklish i was like grabbing rachel and we knocked down the cups and ahh. it was chaos. ok. NEVER MIND so much for mugging home ec. it was really fun. we were talking about art asking for ideas blablabla doing that leg thing (which all of us are really freaked out by) and buying food. multiply that by 2 mayb 3. and you get the picture? home ec isnt that hard! right!! hahah. we'll go there and show our common sense.

imma influencer. with my one post on time TWO people started reminiscing..is that how you spell it? i know it's like julia's favourite word or sth lol.

my beloved mocha frappucino AYE. and my blueberry merry muffin..repeat after me blue-ber-ry-mer-ry-muf-fin! haha. i love pronouncing that..and my tongue got "twisted" or sth and i went mocho fropochuno!
haha. in the end shusze had to help me order cuz. i was dying on the floor! hahaha

and as usual the long walk home was tiring and boring haha. this time it really was. the last time i walked it was kind of nicer. but oh well. the orute i walked today was shorter. by like five minutes hahaha. and less mosquitoes lol. they're like making rochester park much nicer. i used to take a shortcut through rochester when i was staying at dover close. it;s so sad! they cut down so much of the trees. as i was walking there today it really felt different. --grass shorter, more brown patches then green and stuff. i dunno. it's weird.
and kind of horrible. it was nice to look at the trees and make up stories. i rmb i was walking home one night at arnd 10 plus with jocelyn and we were making up all kinds of stories about what could be in those bushes and trees! so thick that you cant see through to the other side. we really spooked ourselves lol. but now..i guess not. it'll be clean fences and nicely pruned trees from now on i suppose.

less mosquitoes? *WHAT EVER*

ok. bye. im gunna do my art. haha. i think the concept is great ok you guys! all of them were giving BAD comments hahaha. mayb it is bad. what ever hahaha.

2005-10-10T13:20:00.000+08:00

i have to say this
my chinese tests could be the storyline of a comedy
sometimes, the way i answer questions really freak me out. (the poor teacher--NO WAY!)

gan3 qing2 se4 cai3
doesnt it sound like. pretty porn to you??? i thought it was and i went to ask zenglaoshi and she started giving me this "LECTURE" about how im not supposed to ask questions and she's not supposed to answer me..but she gave me like a small hint and i got it .haha. so it was bao yi bian yi and zhong xing.
ok. next i didnt know how the hell all the words were written and i started with my kindergarden chinese, HAO3 CI2 and HUAI4 CI2
omg? shusze was telling me after the exam "no one calls a ci yu BAD or GOOD."

most of my guessses were wrong..while doing the paper, i felt like i was playing a game and supposed to like match something to something that kind of thing. lol. anw. one word for chinese- ERM!

ok. it's really like that

maths was screwed alright! but we were all laughing like mad after the test. all our ridiculous attempts at certain questions where all of us have DIFFERENT DUBIOUS ways of doing the questions. n our very vigourous GRAPH DRAWING lol. i cant believe i didnt do the lawn mower question. and ONE THING, is building M taller or building N lol. ive a feeling david is lying to me..hmmm.aHEM

feeling pretty highnow and i know im gunna be late in meeting shusze and rachel lol. but i bet rachel would be later! ;]
talking about bets, i woke up at like. 6 15 today which is REALLY early for me. and won the bet!! yay. now daniel owes ME coffee. haha. oh but due to the stress i was under cuz of upcoming hmt exam, i forogt to observe the ""ART OF COFFEE"" *rolls eyes*
and talking about stress, i feel cheated cuz i stayed up till one last night to finish reading my shou ce and THOSE I MUGGED FOR DIDNT COME OUT WHILE THE ONE WORD I THOUGHT WAS NOT IMPORTANT CAME OUT! --as usual? BAH the words were all like common sense word except for one. im pissed. hahahaha. not anymore. HAHAHA.

im really going to be late right. who cares! haha. i hope none of them reads this hahaha. but i really think they'll be late too. ahhh..my mocha frappucino..wad can i say other than i love you!! hahaha. rachel had this pink drink at starbucks ytd while i stucked with my beloved haha. mayb today i'll be MORE adventurous! haha. actually i dunno why we're even going to startbucks to
"MUG" cuz they're like no more exams. important exams i mean, ok, you prolly think im having that lousy attitude(as teachers put it) but ok. nvm. i think im really off now! haha. i haven even changed or anything!

i love chinese! yeah right. i hope i do alright. it'll pull up my marks. and i HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE test four. i dun even know wad it is except that it NEVER fails to pull down my entire overall bringing it from a b3 to b4 or ayb even c5
:[

2005-10-08T19:48:00.000+08:00

staring at the clock was a thing of the past

in pri school, after every paper, we'll all be fidgeting. staring at the clock. and wondering why time passes so slowly. time for daydreaming time for sleepin after the paper time for everything

in secondary school, we seem to be running a race against time, but still the second hand will catch up with us. no more time for staring at the clock with a bored expression,no more hating exams more because of the long waiting time and not so much of difficulty..
now it's the exact opposite. hate papers cuz of difficulty, and not so much because of "BOREDOM"

staring at the clock. will it make time pass slower? will the seconds slow down, and allow us time to run ahead? or will seconds start ticking backwards, so we all have another chance at tommorow. it's never nice to look back and feel horrible about all the things you've done.
but it would be worse, to look back and realise you never did anything wrong, and never grew stronger from an experience. mayb having a perfect life isnt really that perfect. you'll just miss out on many of life's great disappointments.

each year seems to fly past faster and faster. the feeling that i used to have at the start of each year is hardly recognisable. i used to dread the start of every year because the road ahead seemed so long, mundane and daunting. days crawled by and i seemed to take forever for a year to pass.
now it seems like the sun's gravitational pull is getting stronger, and the earth is being pulled closer so the orbit is smaller, and one year flies by. just like that.

september has ended. and soon it'll be year 2006. do i really wanna grow up that much? it would mean a whole lot of new things, but it would also mean the loss of many things as well. there are decisions to be made. and yes, i AM VERY AFRAID! one wrong choice could affect your entire life. that's what all our elders drill into out minds right. after each major exam, it's like i left something behing. when i woke up this morning..it was that feeling like, ok. what's there to study. it may sound nerd or whatever. but that's what it's like. but i'll snap out of it real soon and it'll be hard to snap back into it too.
and i cant stop listening to Relient K. be my escape. and actually i dun find it that nice. somehow i just cant stop listening to it. like an addiction. im getting up slowly! blending in so you wont even know me....

ok. i just realised how today i've got lots of inspiration for writing kind of. first it was the really long letter to diana, even though it was basically senseless stuff it just flowed, and now this. i haven blogged abt anything much for a long time. mayb it's time to start again.

you've been watching all this while and i never knew. my grandparents are leaving for hk soon, sigh. i'll miss them even though sometimes they're naggy.

im beggin you to be my escape!

2005-10-08T18:55:00.000+08:00

been slacking ytd
and today.

wad;s wrong with me anw. my attitude towards chinese. just because im BAD at chinese. so i dun wanna do chinese. and just because i wanna quit higher chinese next year. means i dun have to study. this is so so wrong.

ha. that wasnt me. i feel really very lousy in chinese. every single test. im always on of the lowest. it was only one or two or mayb three..just handful when i dun get the lowest. what's the point in that. there's a thing with me and changing the right answers. but for that to happen, it means that i m not that sure of it anw.

i dunno how some ppl manage to score like really high without even studying. i think they're really lucky. mayb they do study. or mayb they're just smarter.

actually i dun really pay much attention in class so i cant blame anyone. but it's like. sometimes i dun talk. it's stil my fault. when i talk. it IS my fault. so the thing is that. sometimes i take the blame for others but no one ever takes the blame for me. with bad impressions im leaving i might as well quit it all.

but end of the day, my final attitude is still "if i dun get at least a high b3 im quitting"
and 75% of me wants to quit.
so well..you'll know wad to expect. i haven even touched any chinese and it's on monday. actually there's only gou ci;s to study right

i talked for like so long on the phone ytd night and afternoon. i finally realise the wonders of electromagnetic powers in the phone haha. talked to joy for two hours. to rachel for an hour. to joy again for awhile and den finally to grace for bt an hour too haha. and then i went to sleep all the way till 12 pm today

who thinks that that was a total waste of time

*raises hand*

ah. go away.
at least i drew a graph. and wrote diana a two page long letter. yes
not five pages haha.

AND I DID ART RESEARCH

ok..im not being very comforting to myself here.
changed my blogsong again. haha. i dunno why i keep putting avril songs. she's not that bad too. haha.

i just wanna play!
i feel insane

2005-10-07T17:10:00.000+08:00

i like kat's new blogsong. haha. so mayb lindsay isnt that bad anymore

"is it gravity, chemistry, physically pulling me?"

i felt really pissed on my way home just now. so i went to buy cup noodles. at first i wanted to go to the market to buy food. but i didnt wanna run into any fairsians. i really didnt want to. wad's the problem with me anw.
cant ecpress it. dun wanna let anyone jump to insane conclusions. and assuming al kinds of rubbish
sometimes i think i should have a password like wad everyone has. but i find it irritating. what if i forget my own password lol.

i cant stand it! T>T>T>T>T>M!!!!

and go away now! this is getting..from vague to vague-er. to vague-eir!
ive a sudden craving for coke.
add in some apple pie.

and mayb mocha frappucinos.

oh my god. someone save me.
i dun like this
i cant stand this
i really dun like it anymore
that's true
stop assuming things
why did i make that detour wheen your stupid face appeared
i know that i really really got over it
stupid stupid stupid idiotic

you're like a fool..tick tick tock, a big fool. hahaha.
now you're back to square one. somehow it seems fabulous for you. fabulous for me.
it was like playing a board game. and going back to start when you two squares away from end.
disapoointing. but there were no regrets right hahahha.
it was actually fun! im totally contraciting myself. but im really really glad we're at square one. it's a new chance to start everything.
the dice is being passed. soon it'll be my turn. and time to make decisions all over again. i realise that everytime it's like this. only things that creep up and slam WHAM right into my face makes sense or actually had an impact. things that i try to plan NEVER work out. that's one thing i learnt this year. and it really is true.

provided you even know wad im talking about. sorry for vagueness, haha.

2005-10-07T14:33:00.000+08:00

next year, i dun wanna take history, and higher chinese. haha. i think im gunna put course 1 as my first choice. i cant imagine myself doing double humans actually. but i dun wanna do triple science. i just realised how much i dun really like chemistry today. and i realised that physics is actually pretty easy. lol. ive been complaining LOTS about in in the past haha. if you study physics aint that hard. it's mainly concepts and concepts hahaha.

anw. i will always love bio. i can still remember most of the stuff for bio haha. mayb it's the teacher! mr firhad!! haha.

i ran into him after science and he told me ionic compounds are two elements, one metal one non metal. man. i put BOTH metals, haha. i didnt know wad ionic compounds were anw. haha. oh well. mayb i can get one mark.

resolutions for the rest of my exams--
1 dun so itchy hand..you know today in maths! i changed like dunno how many correct answers to the WRONG answers. BAHH!!! but i dun think i did too badly. dunno la. im stil pissed over the changing answer thing.

2 i cant remember.. talking to joy on the phone lol

ok. nvm.ill blog later bye

2005-10-06T19:14:00.000+08:00

oh. blogger is finally "fixed" as in it's no longer all over the place

the dragon show is so saddening! how can yaolie become like this.

i think ive got appendicitis. whoopee. mayb i dun have to school tmr haha. actually i think im quite prepared for science already.

cuz i did pay attention in most classes.and its only towards the end of the year when i kept dozing off in class haha. during the electricity and light and wadever..the physics period. lol. so i'l ocncentrate on those. and just read through the rest.

just one question for you ppl. did we learn work and colour? no right. i slept for like..quite long just now so mayb i can burn some oil tonight haha. i cancelled my piano too so i have more time hahaha. i didnt practice at all anw

today's chinese was terrible. my story sounds ridiculous. and not dangerous at all. BAH
i wrote about getting lost at sea and then all the super drama and surreal stuff..like basically things that will never happen lol. sounds really dumb. jocelyn was exploding with laughter when i told her wad i wrote. IT"S NOT MEANT TO BE FUNNY!! it's supposed to be DANGEROUS@! and make you scared.

english was dumb too. haha. i was so tired..i write a few words..then stop..play with pen..stare into space and just day dream/..dozing off. then start again. super sian la. stayed up last night to do the xin min paper but i was TWICE as efficient as shusze right!! hahah.

anw. my tv show has started again. i think im becoming a tv addict. later

2005-10-05T20:44:00.000+08:00

i think im gonna get dengue. here's my will-
everything i own which isnt anything at all actually. erm..can be given to my grandparents, parents, friends, relatives.wadever.
and i want to be sunk to the bottom of the ocean

ok. the ocean part was a joke.
BUT I THINK IVE GOT DENGUE!

it all started when i decided to let the pregnant lady have the cab. went to holland v starbucks to study with sze. lol. and there was no bus to my home. so i wanted to take a cab.
so i waited and waited after giving up the first cab. and there wasnt an cab so i just decided to walk home..i walked for like more than half an hour i think. so far la. and got bitten by mozzies! i dun wanna get dengue! there are exams to take. ok. i sound so stupid here. i really hope it isnt dengue! oh well. i missed like half of my seven o clock show! one consolotion--i memorised the periodic table 1st 20 on the way home haha

and i was like desperate to get home to watch the seven o clock show so i like dashed across the cross junction near the BV mrt station. i thought i would get knocked down but i didnt which IS a good thing haha. all i had in mind was. HYDROGEN HELIUM LITHIUMblablabla.and I WANNA GET HOME TO WATCH THE SEVEN O CLOCK SHOW

surprisingly, the walk home didnt seem as long as it actually was. it was quite enjoyable actually. exercise or sth. but i had that feeling someone riding on a motorbike was gunna rob me. i think im really pessimistic sometimes, gah.

im addicted to the mocha frappucino lol. shusze and i were craving for food and coffee but we didnt wanna spend too much lol.

i am petrified of the science exam. i have no frikkin idea wad covalent molecules are..and ashley wants to charge me ten dollars for tuition LOL. nonono. haha. he did try explaning wad rarefaction and covalent molecules were, but i really didnt understand. my understanding of them is that, aiwee doesnt understand them. get it?

fine. i really hope it isnt dengue. i will die if it's dengue. i hate drinking water. actualy i dun mind. but i DUN drink water. and i heard dengue patients must drink lotsa water.

yes. go open your champagne now. im gonna die in two weeks time. mayb i can do like really well in my exams, as the LASt thing i do on this earth. and die after that.
wow. how magical! BAHH!!!!

my nine o clock show..my beloved! here i come! lol.

2005-10-05T14:14:00.000+08:00

WHEEEEEEEEET

bah

bam.

where is my protractor??
im so sure i brought it to school just to realise that i DIDNT have it in school. urgh. i nearly flipped alright. nearly haha. but anw..nada got so he lend me ha

and the protractor was only for one miserable mark. i shouldve just let protractors go to hell. and i dun think i got that one right. how do you measure bearings anw? wadever.

the MONTREAL protocol..haha. i remembered that one even though it was only a small part of the paper and like..you could choose whether to do itor not. i did that question hahaha. i think i did it. cant really rmb you know.

oh yeah..i am going to "indonesia" to dig for crude oil! im so dumb k. i put indonesia when it's like.brunei or sth. my mapwork is TERRIBLE. and i marked los angeles in the lower middle of north america. please let me get that one right. if the country is EVEN los angeles in the first place. im positive it is. i just dun know where the hell los angeles is!

anw the test is over. and it's SO MUCH EASIER than history. man. history was like. my handwriting was barely legible! in geog i had time to like..daydream lol. and can someone tell me wad settlements are? i put like human settlement or sth. lol. joy put farmer's house i think. aiya..settlement. so irritating. mapwork kills. and i didnt know how to do the case study.

ok. so the test is over.and my compo sucks. i wrote question one. haha. so boring right.
argh. go away.

going out now ppl..haha..byebyebye.

2005-10-04T20:39:00.000+08:00

tmr is the day which decides my fate. ok. the STARTING of the days to come. wadever. im not in my right mind. im in the left or mayb im not in my mind. i really feel like sleeping but GUESS WHAT. tmr there's the eoys so anw
went to je lib just now to STUDY with congrui lol. she's MAD. she wears a jacket and the weather is so friggin hot.
and she has a geog exam tmr like me, yet she was reading library books and like not giving a damn abt the exam whereas me, was mugging like a mad woman. repeating points to myself and trying desperately (failing quite miserably) to memorise maps! all the reservoirs and stuff. and omg. i can find my asia map. i better go find it right after this. oh well. she "TESTED" me and i think i failed lol. i really cannot recall alot. bahh! and my recent geog test got hell low!! next time i shall never ever change my answers..always go with your FIRST instinct! i wouldve gotten those three marks. but my itchy hand went to change it and now ive got a zero RAH!

lemme see. things that i hate currently- protocols, all kinds of maps, glabal warming, and john&his marbles!

1)aiwee is gunna die in tmr;'s eng compo test because she doesnt know wad to do. (oh yes. i do. im writing in narrative lol)
2) aiwee feels like she's wasting time and she knows that she IS going to forget to bring one of the many things needed for geog tmr. a kind soul please text her to remind her in the morning!
3) please dun let aiwee oversleep on an exam day
4) the nine o clock show starts pretty soon so i suppose she will go watch tv and not get much done(oh well..there are advertisement times)
5) aiwee really doesnt like it when ppl use nada's phone to msg rubbish cuz she is currently very stressed up with eoys right now. if you want, come back another day. NOTNOW!
6) she's going off right now.

7)bye.

2005-10-03T19:27:00.000+08:00

ok..congrui thinks i embarressed her in front of my school today! lol
she waited for so long and in the end just for ice cream lol. SORRY!! we'll go out during holidays ok? like.seriously really really go out instead of always saying go out then never go. hahah
sorry once again! i did tell you not to come yknow.
neway. i PROMISE i'll visit you at your house. i still rmb how to go. go to jp, the oasis room. cross overhead bridge etc. haha.

im suddenly having like bad moods and stuf. and it's bad cuz exams round the corner and i should be studying not going online. but matthew chay says we shouldnt be too uptight abt exams!! be relax and dunno wad la. he makes it sound veyr logical but now i cant rmb wad he was saying lol. but bottomline was like mugging does not help..must have foundation or sth

congrui saw someone die. she thinks? lol.i would be traumatized.
but i bet she's gunna blow up the story and exxagerate it!

and KAT!!! swamps can die! they really really can die!!
they die and sink to the bottom of the sea right? and form coal after like millions of years.

gahhs. you and mence gang up to bully me right? im convinced!

k. one last theme for geog and everything else in science

can someone please teach my maths. the john and his marbles one. and some other questions as well. im really dying.when i think abt it i get headache also. lol.

and laura, i dun see clemence's phone ok. haha. really. im not bluffing you!

2005-10-02T16:34:00.000+08:00

im never staying up late to study again
DANIEL SIM!!it doesnt work at all lol.
firstly, i was tired last night so didnt do much
secondly, somehow i woke at like 9 today even though i slept really late last night so this whole afternoon i just felt really sleepy!

so in other words, i hardly did anything

and it was from one failed appointment to another
ok. NEVERMIND! lol

the art of coffee..gahhs. clemence says i must learn to drink coffee with STYLE! so from today onwards im going to observe how daniel drinks his coffee. according to mence. it's sth like sip by sip and dunno wad..wait for condensation to appear and then finish everything??

i still dun get it. but oh well. it's the ART OF COFFEE*rolls eyes* and i supose it should be quite hard to acquire or understand the art of coffee..AOC for short. hahaha

shusze thinks she sacrificed her entire firday afternoon for me and wants to be mentioned
OK! fine. hi shusze! lol. rmb our small corner in je lib and we'll go back ten years later to see it unchanged ok? haha. that was so out of nowhere. but we could go back ten years later. haha. :)

ive completed up till ozone depletion and i wanna complete more by today! but im realy tired..BAHH TO STAYING UP LATE! ok. im gunna finish theme 8 and get through a bit of theme 9 by today. and also sec one science. haha.

oh shoots!! i still have the ctss paper. but shusze said it's quite easy so i'll just do it later haha.
SOMEBODY SAVE MY LIFE! got no idea wad to do for art. think i'll just do number 4..lol. draw some animals dying lol.

good luck for eoys everybody! get into a stream of your choice!

off now! and i changed my blogskin hahaha.

2005-10-01T21:08:00.000+08:00

howhowhow??!!!

k. diff comments from diff ppl.

laura--says she's gunna take history cuz of that, and trying to persuade joce rach and i

daniel--says just study and do your best then decide.

clemence says--WHACK THEM..etc

i says-- let me die, let me just die!

hahaha. went studying today again with jeraldine..dunno why she suddenly message me and ask me to go study. so anw i just went.and it was quite productive. completed cgs paper with lotsa blanks, and completed land reclammation.revised some science too. gunna stay up late today to study more geog. haha.mapwork kills! i can never ever rmb where all the expressways are lol.

changed my blogsong cuz i was getting real sick of it. haha. chinese songs hve this effect on me. anything but ordinary-avril lavigne! haha. i really run out of songs to put what with my "against (most kinds of)piracy " thing lol. haven been downloading anything at all for a long time haha.

gunna bathe now k. came back like quite long ago but haha. just went online and here i am.

and yup! make big goals hahaha. it works mence!! :)

netglearning loading....sian sian

2005-10-01T11:21:00.000+08:00

groggy eyed!! gahhss..

yeah so i woke up today huh!! find all my pillows thrown all over the entire room. MY GOODNESS!! what have i been doing. it's times like this when i pity my grandma and grandfather who share a room with me when they're here!

first instinct is to look at my phone to see what the time is. haha. i slept for 13 hours!! yay. so "PRODUCTIVE"
then it got all spoilt as i saw a message from daniel "how's the mugging going on ? "
haha. thanks for your message daniel lol. drinking too much coffee is VERY BAD for health. i theenk

and i got reminded how i spent the whle of last night doing nothing but going online and watching tv then sleeping lol.

oh wel, one consolation -- i studied in the afternoon with shusze.

did i spell consolation right?

been waiting forever for that netglearning thing to load. what's it's problem??oh. and i think a bird just smashed into my window? i saw it bang and then fly away again. oh wells. birds do make mistakes at times haha

tui yi bu, hai kuo tian kong!

i really still feel very very stupid about being so urgh. how do i put it? being oh so sticky, and not really bothering to socialise at all haha.

wadever! haha. ok. that irritating bugger netglearning still refuses to load. im gunna tell mr lee that rahh!

things to do for today
-write shuyi's and diana's letter(i owe shuyi hers for like more than a week already! lol)
-finish land reclammation for geog(more IF POSSIBLE)
-finish that cgs paper and cts paper
-revise some science
-practice piano

k. gotta get tham all done by today. mayb excluding the letters. haha. alright, bye

2005-09-30T20:42:00.000+08:00

im actually just trying to filll in more posts cuz im really totally un used to a blog that has only one miserable pathetic post

anw. the sudden realisation. ok. not really sudden realisation. more of like. i suddenly feel like posting

im really glad im spending time with ppl who actually want to talk to me..rather than wasting my time on ppl who think too much of themselves, or try and act dao or wadever their weird minds are thinking

i really find myself being happier each day even though im really tired!! i just look forward to school now even though it's boring lessons are just revision revision and more revision haha
so oh wells. wanna say WO AI NI MEN!! to julia (stupid comments abt my six files are not WELCOME!!), jocelyn, shusze, grace, zoi, daniel sim, gong, rophi, laura, erm,, etc la...anw. you know that i love you hahhah. and that xing-lame-hui! HA. quote from my blog eh!my tapping skills are getting batter by the day hahahah!

ok,. so im really going offline now. bye! haha

2005-09-30T20:11:00.000+08:00

i hate the way my blog looks really really empty. somehow i cant seem to blog normally. get what i mean? i feel like sth is missing. i really miss my old blog even though i didnt exactly lose it. it's just really weird to come here and see like..no archives or anything?

anw, had a study session with shusze today haha. quite productive eh. saw so many fairsians haha. the cgs paper is quite a killer. how the heck do you calculate sin cos tan without a calculator? haha.
shusze and i were quite hopeless. haha. she did it last night and like..so many blanks haha. we called jocelyn for help heh. the way she do things is seriously super funny one la

daniel sim wants to be featured in the first post of my new blog. haha. so what can i say? totally obsessed with coffee and a good influencer who influences me to do bad things like drink coffee at night and stay up until 4 am lol. and inspires me to throw bags off his shoulder like what he did to me during geog today. miss toh was absolutely "horrified" at how daniel ""bullies girls""
aha.

ok. so it's like no more slacking and stuff now huh. im not slacking haha. im now at lesson 17 for geog. not bad huh. haha. shusze said im being over hardworking by doing mindmaps. haha.

and we missed four trains altogether. and she is super duper fussy about where to sit mwaha

anw i think i should go bathe or sth
just came home not long ago. took a cab with shusze and we were dying in the cab feeling giddy and stuff haha.

bye ppl. i still feel kinda WEIRDISH with this new blog? gahhs.
my old blog